Monday, July 20, 2015

Twenty-four

Bad as it already is, it keeps getting worse. As darkness falls, I cry out Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachthani? But I call myself an atheist, so Mene, Mene, tekel upharsin would be more appropriate.

I’ve rid myself of the three weird sisters and Jennifer. I see less and less of Leonard, as well, though of course I can’t rid myself of him entirely. Nor can I rid myself entirely of Justin. That would be churlish, after all the effort he’s made to entertain me. But he’s run out of scientific subjects for us to discuss (or for him to research and then read his notes to me), so we’re now reduced to discussing the Greek financial crisis. I’m hoping he’ll eventually realize we have nothing more to discuss, and stop calling me.

I don’t want to talk to anyone, not even myself. I didn’t intend to write anything more in this diary, or journal, or whatever it is, and was going to delete it and myself. But I haven’t. I’ve felt this way before, many times, and changed my mind. I may again.   

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