Friday, January 15, 2016


I’ve always done what I had to do, not what I should do.

I’ve done what I had to do in order to survive; and I had to survive, even when I wanted to die, because people told me they needed me.

Most people live in a prison of their own making. They claimed they didn’t know how to free themselves, and told me only I could save them. And I believed them.

I used to wonder if I had a Christ complex, because I believed I could save them. I believed it because they told me I could. It was they who had the Christ Complex.

Those who claim to believe in Christ claim he died so that others might have eternal life. I don’t believe anyone’s suffering has the magical power to heal others (but this isn’t even magic; it’s just schadenfreude), so I doubt I have a Christ Complex. I doubt even Christ had a Christ Complex.

I believe Christ lived as he knew he should, as we all know we should; and he hoped others would follow his example. He died because the people who claimed to be his followers would not follow his example. He died from despair at their self-destructive stupidity.  

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